I still remember the time when my friends used to persuade me slyly to leave all the important work aside and come with them only to do and talk about the things which were not going to improve my life by any means.
I used to think that at least by saying yes, I have saved my friendship.
Now when I retrospect my life and scrutinize all the decisions I have taken, one thing I should have done the most but unfortunately I was completely lacking the courage to do so was, saying “NO” more often to the people or the tasks which were not going to impact my life positively and getting me closer to my goals.
Contrary to that I was busy in, pleasing everyone around me and now when I see in hindsight, they are not so pleased either. The irony isn’t it?
So what changed when I started saying “No” more often?
By saying yes to something unproductive, you are actually saying No to something productive.
We all have limited time every day at our disposal. To be precise, 86400 seconds. And what we do with this time is going to determine, how our life would be in the future?
And the future doesn’t mean only in monetary terms, Money is only one aspect of life. There are so many factors that directly or indirectly affect the quality of life such as peace, health, relationships, conscience, compassion, work etcetera.
Being extra careful about the time you spent on the activities daily is utterly important. We really have to be vigilant of the most precious resources of our life, i.e TIME.
But sadly we live in a society where people don’t only waste their own time but also sabotages the time of their acquaintances by persuading them to accompany and take part in their silly and useless pursuits.
So if you have goals and dreams which you badly want to achieve and also willing to uplift the quality of your life, then it is extremely important to say “No” to activities and people who are rather dragging you down and taking you away from your dream life.
Because remember if you are saying yes to something unproductive, you are actually saying “No” to something productive.
You transcend the idea of pleasing everyone around me
I believe the biggest burden we carry as a human being is, “what others will think of us?” and this is the main reason, we hesitate so much to say NO to people or activities even though we really don’t want to do it.
Because deep down we fear the judgment they will pass on us. We fear we might sabotage the image we have built all this time. We fear they would get hurt.
All these thoughts make us cripple and finally, we succumb to the situation.
But the moment we gather a bit of courage to say NO to things which don’t excite us, which are not going to affect our life positively, we are no longer shackled with expectations and appeasements of others.
Now it’s all about “I”. I will decide, how and where I am going to spend my time and on which activities?
You will get a new form of freedom which you have never experienced before
I dread the people who borrow money in the dire need but don’t have the courtesy to return it back when their situation gets better.
Even after following up with them over and over again, you will find them making alibis of different kinds.
This happened to me a lot when I started earning. Some acquaintances used to call me up and ask for some money and since it was not good at saying No at all. It used to end up lending them only to run after them for my own money.
But after going through this vicious cycle quite a few times, I mustered the courage to say no to lending money to anyone on whom I had even an iota of doubt.
The first few times, It was awkward but now I am most comfortable and least bothered. I am absolutely free to say no to anyone regarding anything if I don’t feel like doing.
I believe this is not arrogance but freedom, the freedom of saying “No”.
Saying “No” doesn’t always mean being rude
Over the years, I have said “No”, plenty of times. Be it to my parents, family members, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or strangers.
What I have experienced is, saying “No”, not always mean you are being disrespectful. But yes you have to learn to say it gracefully with a proper justification ( not all the time).
Because a word which has been misinterpreted the most in the world is “No”. So we have to deal with it sensitively.
For instance, if someone has a medical emergency and has sought out for your help, then saying No at that particular time might hurt their sentiment even though you really have something important to do because at the end of the day what is more important than life itself?
But if someone is dragging you in their toxicity and deliberately trying to sabotage your time and energy, then you can politely decline and do what you ought to be doing.
If they understand, well and good, and if not, then it’s even better because anyway, that friendship doesn’t worth even a dime.